How Not to Degrade Women

10 Oct

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We have all heard the excuse of “Locker Room Talk” given for some of the most inhuman and degrading commentary on women I have ever heard. More disturbingly, now I am hearing more and more people say “All men do it”. That is a lie; all men do not do it. I will not deny that in our debauched society that many men do it, but not all – not by a long shot.

Let us be clear when I say this. I was a sailor on a US Navy destroyer in a much less politically correct time. Was foul language common? Absolutely. Did anyone ever use that language or any other language, to brag about assaulting a woman? Never did I hear anything like it, not even through shipboard gossip. Such an act would have shamed a man terribly.

Just those few decades ago we knew that some things were just wrong and indefensible. Now we are losing our way. It’s time we set ourselves a course away from the place where men can brag about sexually assaulting a woman and not be immediately put down by the men around him, who then walk away leaving the offender alone to consider his trespass.

This is a behaviour that must never be tolerated by Catholics. You have a duty to not engage in the behaviour and if possible to let the person(s) doing so know that you wonder how they would feel if someone talked like that about their mother, their wife, their sister, or their daughter? I know this works. I’ve done this before. It’s not jocularity at play, but rather Satan creeping into our words. Through our words he creeps into our thoughts, and through our thoughts he affects our actions.

I have a rule of thumb that has worked well. Never speak about women in public or private in words that you would be embarrassed for your wife or daughter to hear. By controlling your words, you will control your mind, and by controlling your mind you will control your actions. This is not a road we should be going down at all, but you have the power to stop it. Asking the offender to examine his conscience (how would he feel it is was a female family member of his) is a form of admonition that is relatively gentle, and admonishing the sinner is a spiritual work of mercy.

Take a moment and think about the way you speak about women in public and in private, and ask yourself if there is room for improvement. Once you start focusing on controlling your words, they way you think will follow. Remember no woman wants a husband that demeans her by demeaning women, so be mindful always of what you say.

Men who will say these things in a locker room, or otherwise amongst themselves, are likely to say it to the ones they love because they failed to filter their thoughts and thereby their words. Don’t risk the respect of your mothers, your wives and your daughters by speaking of women in a way that you would regret them hearing.

4 Responses to “How Not to Degrade Women”

  1. momwhearingloss October 10, 2016 at 8:48 pm #

    The lack of respect for not only women but people in general is widespread today. My father was a navy man as well and served in the second world war – I know for a fact he never talked like that – my husband and all of his friends never talk like that..I am catholic as well but I think we have to act with class no matter what our religion. Trump simply has no class and it is sad that he thinks because of his “celebrity” that he can behave like an idiot and on the other hand it’s sad because his statement is true – celebrities and rich people can behave the way they want because they have money and status..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dona Eis Requiem October 10, 2016 at 8:52 pm #

      While I agree with you, the incident with trump was what brought the issue to the forefront. I did not intend this as a political post but as a reaction to all the men that thought such talk was normal and acceptable. It shocked me. As a sailor, I’m hard to shock with language, but for so many to talk that way about women indicates a much deeper and more troubling degredation in our society I hoped to address in a consturctive manner. I totally agree that anyone who would speak that way has no class!


  2. Padre Tatro December 13, 2016 at 3:06 pm #

    Here! Here! Bravo sir, bravo! This is ultimately not tolerated…Would they say this to our Blessed Mother, and why say it all when our Almighty God is always listening and always knows what we utter?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Padre Tatro December 13, 2016 at 3:07 pm #

    Reblogged this on Padre Tatro's Desk and commented:
    A very good statement on how we need to speak of women, and ultimately each other.

    Liked by 1 person

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