Tag Archives: Sacramental Marriage

How we lost Marriage

6 May

Wait! I know what you’re going to say about how Marriage is alive and well. It’s not alive and well, it is fractured and broken. The Church has been cleaved in two by political activism and social progressives recently in an effort to finish Sacramentally what was started in the late 60’s civilly by recognizing the divorced and remarried without annulments which effectively lays the same waste to Sacramental Marriage, just as no fault divorce did to the civil side of marriage.

We lost Marriage when we allowed No Fault Divorce. Since so many don’t understand what no fault divorce meant here is a definition from Wikipedia:

No-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party.[1] Laws providing for no-fault divorce allow a family court to grant a divorce in response to a petition by either party of the marriage without requiring the petitioner to provide evidence that the defendant has committed a breach of the marital contract.

California started the downward spiral of marriage in 1969 by making the marital contracts, both social and legal, unenforceable. In fact the state now had effectively redefined the contract as only binding on the man who was responsible to fork over half the assets and pay child support in addition – adding insult to previous injury when an unfaithful spouse decided to leave him for her lover.

Lost to history was the fact that feminists opposed no fault divorce unsuccessfully, as they saw it leaving women vunerable. I will repost the arguments against it here – also from Wikipedia:

The National Organization for Women opposed the introduction of no-fault divorce in New York state because it would allow a party who actually is at fault to obtain a divorce in which “alimony, maintenance [and] property division” would be determined without the judge considering “the facts, behavior and circumstances that led to the break-up of the marriage”.[10] A paper published in The Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, written by Douglas Allen, on the economics of same-sex marriage, argues that the introduction of no-fault divorce led to a six-fold increase in just two years, after a century of rather stable divorce rates. Also, the law increased the rate at which women entered the workforce, increased the number of hours worked in a week, increased the feminization of poverty, and increased the age at which people married.[11] Stephen Baskerville, a political scientist at Howard University, argues that no-fault divorce rewards wrongdoers, reduces the need of marital binding agreement contracts at the public’s expense, and helps women take custody of their children at the husbands’ expense in many cases where the man has done nothing wrong. He also adds that a ban on divorce will not work, because people will separate themselves and be in a permanent state of adultery, or they will create a hostile home environment for the children.[12]

If one is to be truthful – the divorce rate has soared, the number one factor in the poverty of women and children is single motherhood. Marriage not only lifts women and children out of poverty but also lifts the father up socially and economically as well.

I know some readers will be defensive about single mothers claiming this is a fallacy, but the facts get in the way and the facts constitute a damning indictment of single motherhood and out of wedlock births. I suggest you read this study from Ohio State University.

Once the marriage contract became unenforceable – it was left to rely only on the commitment of the spouses which was often based on a feeling of being in love, and not a binding lifetime commitment from which true love would grow over time. This led to more divorce, more single motherhood, more broken homes, and more hurt children.

It also led to most men in the current generation choosing not to marry – as freely available birth control has lowered the price of sex from a lifetime bonded commitment before God and enforced by the state to as little as 15 mins conversation and a cup of coffee. The financial risks of marriage to men, as well as the emotional devastation wrought by the ability of their spouses to tear their lives and finances apart, keep them from their children, and have the same state who refuses to enforce the marriage contract enforce child support laws with an cruel iron fist. It took longer than I expected for men to catch on.

This was exacerbated by the state taking over the husbands role as provider – allowing a woman to cast off her husband without cause and then be supported by public assistance so that all taxpayers in the country can then support them.

If we had at fault divorce – women who were wronged would be much better protected and could receive alimony preventing them from being wrongly cast off, men who were wronged would be much better protected and not lose their home and retirement, and Marriage would become the refuge it once was – based on a committed partnership raising the whole family up. What we have now is destroying our society.

I don’t know that there is a way back — and if gay marriage is allowed it will further trivialize marriage and result in continued poverty for women and children. and the side effect that men no longer revere women, but in general use them until they are tired of them and cast them off. I suspect it will do marriage in entirely – outside of strictly sacramental marriages. The consequences to women and children – as well as to men are too dire to ignore.

Ask yourself what possible benefit does no-fault divorce offer? When you realize it does not offer any benefit to men, women, or children, but instead harms them all. Then you work with your state legislators to repeal it state by state.

We will have to take back one thing at a time to retake our society. Since the family is the building block of society, let us start with taking back marriage and restore the building block by getting rid of the failed no-fault divorce experiment.

Prayerfully,

Colin

Catholicism is Countercultural

22 Feb

Counter-Cultural-Picture

In St. John’s Gospel, Jesus reminds us, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” Jesus also reminds us that we will be hated for following him – so we should never bother to pursue the worlds adoration and acceptance. What we should do is adore God and do as Jesus commanded, “If you love me, follow my commandments”. He did not say to do what pleased the world or to do what is popular, but to do as he commanded. This is a lot harder than it sounds.

You should understand that it is not in being easy that it holds great value. Instead, it holds great value and appeal because it is hard to follow Jesus. It is difficult to be bound to a separate set of morals and ethics from the people and the society in which you must exist. It is trying to be invested in obligations like Sacramental Marriage, that the world around you cannot even comprehend since they have only the palest of analogues in what they also call Matrimony. They will even think you crazy or daft because your understanding of the marital obligation is so far out of phase with theirs.

Yes, to be Catholic is Countercultural. It sets you apart from the world. It leaves you heading in one direction while the world heads another. It very often leads you in opposition to the world and social norms around you. From things as simple as not eating meat on Fridays (at least in Lent – if not year round), opposing abortion, refusing artificial birth control, to things as complicated as refusing to participate in an invalid marriage (Divorced and remarried without an annulment, Catholics marrying outside the church without dispensation, gay marriages, etc…) even when family are involved. It means running to an adoration chapel instead of the local bar when you have seemingly insoluble problems.

It is a life of sacrifice and service for those of us called to marriage. However, with that sacrifice and service also comes the greatest fulfillment and joy a human can feel. While at times the obligations of the faith can seem to weigh you down and expose you to all manner of ridicule and degradation – it is those moments when it lifts you to heights you never imagined that stick in your mind and set your soul ablaze. The rewards of following His commandments can be beyond your capacity to imagine, especially when you come from a social system that thinks you simple or worse, deluded for not following them in their defiance of God. You see the unhappiness, and the misery they suffer with daily for choosing against God and yet still they persist. They become like a man banging his head into a brick wall until he passes out from the pain and falls bloodied to the ground.

You have a choice – choose fulfillment or emptiness. Oh, you may think the other life is full – but it’s nothing more than an illusion. Some of us have to take that path a long time before we learn that there is no real fulfillment there, but many of us have already figured that out. If you’re ready, it’s time to try something new and different– something that goes against the grain and all progressive logic. Be countercultural and live the Catholic faith in your daily life. It will not be easy. It will not draw the worlds accolades, but it will fill you to overflowing from the inside out with both purpose and joy, even through the pain in your life.

Pax Christi,

Colin

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Traditional Marriage is NOT Discrimination

25 Jul

 

This video answers the question with Charity, Clarity, and Catholic Principles.
Fantastic! #DefendMarriage

Pax Christi,

Colin

 

%d bloggers like this: