That title is a staement in itself. I hear continually from men/women who want to find the perfect husband/wife and they rattle off a list of attributes and such like good work ethic, wants children and family, kind, caring, supportive, morally strong, Catholic, etc…
Problem is that when they are presented with such an option the rejections are for things like : He’s too heavy, too ugly, has a beard, dosen’t have the right degree, isn’t rich, too shy, too awkward, etc… Sometimes they get lost in the “Friend Zone” from whence they become a close friend and you get along swimmingly but they never seem to be recognized as a potential spouse. When you have someone who you can already share your feelings and secrets openly, that’s a better start than rock hard abs or perfect hair is in a marriage.
Let me explain. People will change physically, and in 40 years you will likely both be pretty decrepit. If you have a deep friendship then you have one of the key items needed for a happy marriage long term. If you’re good friends, the warts have all be exposed by both of you and you still like each other for who you are, that is very important.
As for the shy and awkward people, most of them will bloom with just a little interest on your part. Especially if you work on a friendship first. The other things are all superficial – if you’re that wrapped up in superficial things then you’re probably not ready for sacramental marriage anyway.
I lucked out – I married my best friend. It was through our friendship that we both realized we belonged together. Please don’t throw away a happily ever after because you think you tell tell everything about a man or woman at a glance, or even one meeting.
Think About It…